I know I said I will be writing about my guitar essay, but I decided to write on this nature essay for a change.
For the nature essay
In the beginnings, before I began to write this nature essay, I started to look for a focus.I didn’t know much about nature or the outside and I could've gone with talking about rain but I wanted to talk about my cockatiel Spicy since she is very dear to me. I began to think about the early times of me and the bird and decided that the focus was going to be the psychological aspects of having a pet. This paper is about my first draft however it may include tidbits about my second revision.
I organized my ideas based off of this dream I invented-knowingly pushing the limit of the genre but I decided to give it a shot. Unfortunately for my revision, I replaced the dream sequences with meditation sequences where I laid in bed thinking about my cockatiel in a more biological and specifically natural manner. Also, it is good to note that both versions moved around these dream/meditation sequences-however more so in the first draft. Next I tried to push the focus forward which was, of whether or not it was right for us to treat animals as pets. The way I came to the focus was by writing about the feeling I had when I first got my bird and its cage. This is what birthed the focus of the paper while the dream segments were used to enhance-I thought- the rest of the paper. My writing in the paper had to match my plan which was, to introduce the question, setup pet and my feelings, introduce the dreams, repeat question with analysis, connect dreams with question and finally answer the question.
Next, I set out to start writing the introduction. I wrote the introduction, but I wrote it as a summary more than an introduction. I did this so that I can have the focus in front of me and then build on it. Since the focus of the essay was nature-and in mine more specifically of humans relation to their pets- opened with a brief history about my pet Spicy. The first version sounded too biological, so what I did was I decided to include myself in the introduction. Since I was talking about a relationship between animals and humans, I didn’t regress in beginning with my pet and I. This worked out well to my surprise because I found that I was able to introduce my question-my personal focus for this paper, more sensibly and more interestingly. Here is an example of what I did for my intro:
“Spicy is a grey cockatiel. Cockatiels have a unique crest of a few feathers on the top of their heads and she has it too. She is a native to Australia and she is hand-fed. Birds that are hand-fed versus being parent-fed are generally friendlier with humans.” Now this to me was and is very boring. This is my first draft intro:
“Spicy is her name. I wonder if she ever lived in Australia. I wonder if even her parents did. I wonder even if her grandparents did. And I wonder if cockatiels ever really knew this.”
With this type of intro, although a very short one, I think that one could feel something like a certain concept too far to grasp and yet getting close, and although it has more about what I am wondering about than about nature, at least I was wondering about natural things.
Subsequently, I began to write the paper. Basically I began to concentrate on fleshing out my question, but I decided on prolonging the revelation of the question a bit to experiment with something I call third-level conceptual expression. Just like there is a first, second and third level conversations in novels, I believe that there could be first, second and third level concept interpretation. In short, I wanted to blend first and second concept communication by adding words carefully chosen to connect to the concept like famous one in this paper “prison”.
Finally, I made sure each point bridged to the next, especially if I was using third level concept communication. I don’t like to make the reader do catch up at the beginning of another point. I try and sort of have this continuous connection between points. The dream/meditations sequences really helped me in this area because the of the way I set up my paper. Early one I introduced this natural day cycle. I went to sleep and woke up in the story. With each passing day I ebbed closer to the question at hand and I bridged each day with these dream/meditation sequences. In these sequences I either dreamt or thought about Spicy, her nature and my relationship to her.
Like I said I took a chance including a fictional dream and yet this dream was replaced by something more descriptive and real (more talk about cockatiels, more talk about definition of nature and what is natural maybe) so the dreams did get canned. And finally, I honestly could not state before writing what exactly in words was my focus, since I sort of wrote out of the feeling or mental image I had, but in the end I feel that this image was perfectly interpreted to paper.
For the nature essay
In the beginnings, before I began to write this nature essay, I started to look for a focus.I didn’t know much about nature or the outside and I could've gone with talking about rain but I wanted to talk about my cockatiel Spicy since she is very dear to me. I began to think about the early times of me and the bird and decided that the focus was going to be the psychological aspects of having a pet. This paper is about my first draft however it may include tidbits about my second revision.
I organized my ideas based off of this dream I invented-knowingly pushing the limit of the genre but I decided to give it a shot. Unfortunately for my revision, I replaced the dream sequences with meditation sequences where I laid in bed thinking about my cockatiel in a more biological and specifically natural manner. Also, it is good to note that both versions moved around these dream/meditation sequences-however more so in the first draft. Next I tried to push the focus forward which was, of whether or not it was right for us to treat animals as pets. The way I came to the focus was by writing about the feeling I had when I first got my bird and its cage. This is what birthed the focus of the paper while the dream segments were used to enhance-I thought- the rest of the paper. My writing in the paper had to match my plan which was, to introduce the question, setup pet and my feelings, introduce the dreams, repeat question with analysis, connect dreams with question and finally answer the question.
Next, I set out to start writing the introduction. I wrote the introduction, but I wrote it as a summary more than an introduction. I did this so that I can have the focus in front of me and then build on it. Since the focus of the essay was nature-and in mine more specifically of humans relation to their pets- opened with a brief history about my pet Spicy. The first version sounded too biological, so what I did was I decided to include myself in the introduction. Since I was talking about a relationship between animals and humans, I didn’t regress in beginning with my pet and I. This worked out well to my surprise because I found that I was able to introduce my question-my personal focus for this paper, more sensibly and more interestingly. Here is an example of what I did for my intro:
“Spicy is a grey cockatiel. Cockatiels have a unique crest of a few feathers on the top of their heads and she has it too. She is a native to Australia and she is hand-fed. Birds that are hand-fed versus being parent-fed are generally friendlier with humans.” Now this to me was and is very boring. This is my first draft intro:
“Spicy is her name. I wonder if she ever lived in Australia. I wonder if even her parents did. I wonder even if her grandparents did. And I wonder if cockatiels ever really knew this.”
With this type of intro, although a very short one, I think that one could feel something like a certain concept too far to grasp and yet getting close, and although it has more about what I am wondering about than about nature, at least I was wondering about natural things.
Subsequently, I began to write the paper. Basically I began to concentrate on fleshing out my question, but I decided on prolonging the revelation of the question a bit to experiment with something I call third-level conceptual expression. Just like there is a first, second and third level conversations in novels, I believe that there could be first, second and third level concept interpretation. In short, I wanted to blend first and second concept communication by adding words carefully chosen to connect to the concept like famous one in this paper “prison”.
Finally, I made sure each point bridged to the next, especially if I was using third level concept communication. I don’t like to make the reader do catch up at the beginning of another point. I try and sort of have this continuous connection between points. The dream/meditations sequences really helped me in this area because the of the way I set up my paper. Early one I introduced this natural day cycle. I went to sleep and woke up in the story. With each passing day I ebbed closer to the question at hand and I bridged each day with these dream/meditation sequences. In these sequences I either dreamt or thought about Spicy, her nature and my relationship to her.
Like I said I took a chance including a fictional dream and yet this dream was replaced by something more descriptive and real (more talk about cockatiels, more talk about definition of nature and what is natural maybe) so the dreams did get canned. And finally, I honestly could not state before writing what exactly in words was my focus, since I sort of wrote out of the feeling or mental image I had, but in the end I feel that this image was perfectly interpreted to paper.
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